Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nineteen99

Search for a member

nineteen99

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 May 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 134
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About nineteen99 : Hi

nineteen99's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:52am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:24pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 7:37pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 4:16pm<b>texaskitty86</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 6:28pm<b>eezila</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 4:06pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 2:14pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 1:03pm<b>vlalam</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 9:53pm<b>Patty410</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 11:56am<b>ArsonSK</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 6:30pm<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:32pm<b>persianninja</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 10:08pm<b>kzombeee</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 1:06pm<b>challan</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 9:43pm

nineteen99's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of nineteen99's badges

nineteen99's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

#20585229
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56933) - you deserved it (16023)

On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I was walking back to my hotel from the town square, and got lost. I turned back and walked around town for an hour, freaking out and panicking. When I finally found the hotel, I realized it was practically a stone's throw from where I was when I turned around. FML

#19313796
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15366) - you deserved it (6051)

On 03/20/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Orebro Lan)

Today, my boyfriend of two years kept digging around in his belly button and smelling his fingers. At one point he shoved his fingers in my face and told me to smell his belly button. He's 27 years old. FML

#19200662
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20136) - you deserved it (3929)

On 03/02/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by smellybelly (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML

#17471195
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29936) - you deserved it (3522)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my ex-boyfriend posted on my boyfriend's facebook wall. Apparently I give awful blowjobs. FML

#16996053
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37435) - you deserved it (10510)

On 07/06/2011 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anna - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the midwest blizzard hit my town, burying the roads in snow. All the local stores are closed. I'm not only currently on my period, but I'm out of pads and toilet paper. FML

#14827819
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41858) - you deserved it (9502)

On 02/03/2011 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I took the motherboard out of my computer so I could put more RAM and a new video card in. While I was in the bathroom my mom threw it all out because it 'looked like garbage'. FML

#14665828
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (3710)

On 01/21/2011 at 8:15pm - misc - by computerguy (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had four teeth pulled, and my mom brought me some ice cream to help with the pain. I fell asleep before I could finish it, and without realising, I left the bowl on my bed. I woke up a few hours later with ice cream spilled all over me, my pants, and all over my now-dead phone. FML

#9131869
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21523) - you deserved it (9419)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:40pm - health - by hkkilla - United States

Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML

Today, I got fired. To make things worse, I had to sit in three-hour bumper to bumper traffic, waiting for a wreck to clear on my way home. In front of me was a fat man with a hairy butt crack on a motorcycle. I was forced to stare at a fat, underwear-less man's ass for 3 hours. FML

#8395812
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24515) - you deserved it (3412)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:31am - work - by buttcrack (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I broke my dominant hand. My teacher insists we hand-write our essays. I called and asked if it was okay for me to type up the essays. She said no. I have two essays due tomorrow, which count for half my grade. FML

#7545695
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29258) - you deserved it (3051)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a missed call from a job that I really really want. I completely forgot that my answer machine message was a ridiculous and rude poem that I recorded previously when I was drunk. Somehow I don't think I'll be getting a call back. FML

#7433916
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5176) - you deserved it (33721)

On 01/19/2010 at 6:51am - work - by Stilljobless (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I found out my mom is getting rid of cable TV. My dad and I bought her a 700 dollar plasma screen TV for Christmas. FML

#6922961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23112) - you deserved it (2862)

On 12/24/2009 at 2:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML

#6458973
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9392) - you deserved it (23776)

On 11/26/2009 at 4:22am - animals - by MouseChaser (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

#3718923
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10640) - you deserved it (52170)

On 07/13/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Matt (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: