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ninalink

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ninalink's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML

#20752684
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48418) - you deserved it (6896)

On 06/28/2013 at 3:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

#20752461
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42226) - you deserved it (2887)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML

#20752290
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50854) - you deserved it (3610)

On 06/28/2013 at 11:51am - misc - by me - United States

Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML

#20752113
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56669) - you deserved it (3830)

On 06/28/2013 at 8:23am - love - by confusedandnowsingle (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML

Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship after he told me he loved me. FML

#20751768
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42239) - you deserved it (2756)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:23am - work - by unknown relationship - United States (Illinois)

Today, after spending four hours cooking food for a special family dinner, I went to take a shower before they arrived. I came back out less than twenty minutes later to find most of the food gone, and a very guilty-looking puppy. FML

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

#20751061
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43896) - you deserved it (7955)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm - animals - by Gribby - United States (Missouri)

Today, my sister called me up extremely excited because she found out Flo Rida is from Florida. She's 22. FML

#20751029
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37409) - you deserved it (3499)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by smh - United States (New Jersey)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41019) - you deserved it (2957)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47423) - you deserved it (5882)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

#20750358
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42152) - you deserved it (2689)

On 06/27/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by brigitte (woman) - France (Picardie)

Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML

#20750267
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41748) - you deserved it (2962)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:58pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

#20750126
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52278) - you deserved it (3616)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Guntherdog - United States

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

#20750109
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41004) - you deserved it (3488)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:02am - work - by rubgy_lover - Canada (British Columbia)



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