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niknakpattywak

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niknakpattywak

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  • Number of visits : 1078
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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niknakpattywak's page activity

Visits<b>lramos42</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 11:58pm<b>hotel135</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 12:42am<b>fractured_</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 12:31am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 1:36am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 12:59am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 7:11pm<b>je83185</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 12:34pm

niknakpattywak's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of niknakpattywak's badges

niknakpattywak's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

#21350938
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27938) - you deserved it (2534)

On 02/06/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by valarmorgoolies (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29193) - you deserved it (4814)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40185) - you deserved it (4168)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29115) - you deserved it (12874)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41683) - you deserved it (3045)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML

#21294889
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30266) - you deserved it (7981)

On 11/08/2014 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous S'wit (man) - Portugal

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27740) - you deserved it (11604)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (14479)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42764) - you deserved it (3191)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35712) - you deserved it (2612)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I had to give a video presentation. My video was on animal abuse, but I somehow played a video of myself singing Britney Spears in my room. FML



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Friday 27 February 2015

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