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niknakpattywak

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niknakpattywak

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  • Number of visits : 425
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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niknakpattywak's page activity

Visits<b>hotel135</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 12:42am<b>fractured_</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 12:31am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 1:36am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 12:59am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 7:11pm<b>je83185</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 12:34pm

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niknakpattywak's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30503) - you deserved it (14052)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42666) - you deserved it (3183)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35589) - you deserved it (2606)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I had to give a video presentation. My video was on animal abuse, but I somehow played a video of myself singing Britney Spears in my room. FML

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38568) - you deserved it (6344)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40061) - you deserved it (4514)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29667) - you deserved it (37927)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50619) - you deserved it (6626)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38851) - you deserved it (7074)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56736) - you deserved it (6840)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43140) - you deserved it (6108)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47148) - you deserved it (4775)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46677) - you deserved it (5187)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland



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