niknakpattywak

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Offline (the 07/02/2016 at 4:59am)

niknakpattywak

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2615
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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niknakpattywak's page activity

Visits<b>lramos42</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 11:58pm<b>hotel135</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 12:42am<b>fractured_</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 12:31am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 1:36am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 12:59am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 7:11pm<b>je83185</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 12:34pm

niknakpattywak's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of niknakpattywak's badges

niknakpattywak's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML

by scarred for life / 05/28/2016 at 1:23am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I walked into the kitchen to see my dad peeing into a cup. We made eye contact and he quickly threw the cup into the sink. Not one word has been spoken about what happened, and I saw my mom use the same cup later on that day. FML

by yamuda / 05/11/2016 at 7:24pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was shopping, a girl walked past me and said, "Hola!" I'm Indian. FML

by riyaap13 / 02/23/2016 at 3:30pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband got some junk mail. My grandma brought the mail in and let my 5-year-old open it because it was just junk. It turns out it was a catalog from an adult toys shop. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2016 at 1:26pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

by :x / 02/03/2016 at 10:40am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang, I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

by swag papi / 01/22/2016 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

by lambeaster / 01/20/2016 at 9:27am / United States (District of Columbia) / Kids

Today, I was washing my boobs in the shower when I caught my reflection in the mirror. I got super turned on at the sight of my large breasts all soaped up. I'm a man. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2015 at 9:19am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

by nnniii / 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

by shh / 10/09/2015 at 3:06am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML

by shitbucketsfilledwithshit / 10/08/2015 at 12:04pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I took my niece to the zoo. She was crying so I pointed out the chimpanzee to distract her. At the same time, he sat down and began to jack off. My niece won't stop making the same motion. FML

by elcee1987 / 10/06/2015 at 4:42pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my 18 year old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML

by erphy21 / 09/26/2015 at 4:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML

by Thai that on for size / 09/25/2015 at 3:56pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love