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Offline (the 09/02/2014 at 9:15am)



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  • Number of visits : 328
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nikkkixX's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I got into an argument while she was in the bathroom. I told her I was leaving her because she's too needy. She came out of the bathroom and threw her used tampon at me. FML

by HomicidalPegasus / 05/25/2014 at 11:50am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

by Shitty Boss Shitty Job / 06/15/2013 at 1:41am / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

by sal / 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML

by FMLMom / 08/08/2012 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Kids

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

by cnkk07 / 10/14/2011 at 6:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I almost got married. After the elaborate and very expensive wedding, my "husband" decided he did not want to sign the marriage license because he wasn't sure if he really wanted to settle down after all. FML

by singleagain / 08/24/2009 at 1:16am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

by frenchy / 03/24/2009 at 1:47am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work