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nikkiw16

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nikkiw16's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37441) - you deserved it (6267)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41768) - you deserved it (6954)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39363) - you deserved it (4834)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, after nearly three weeks of hard work, I finally completed my best drawing yet, a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is, until I came home from a walk later on, only to find my brother had drawn a stick figure on it, wanking into my face. FML

#21192529
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42026) - you deserved it (3866)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:08pm - work - by ~~~ (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54400) - you deserved it (7685)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

#21183828
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52338) - you deserved it (4573)

On 06/22/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42413) - you deserved it (4382)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48756) - you deserved it (13631)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54585) - you deserved it (4311)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, a customer called the restaurant I work at to ask if our coupons were always valid, or if they expired on the expiration date printed on them. FML

#21179816
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40071) - you deserved it (4519)

On 06/18/2014 at 8:58pm - work - by Shannon - United States (Michigan)

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

#21179613
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24832) - you deserved it (50286)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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