Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nikkipettyfer

Online | Search for a member

nikkipettyfer

225Fucked!

nikkipettyfernikkipettyfer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6217
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About nikkipettyfer : 😈

nikkipettyfer's page activity

Visits<b>pred8885</b> - yesterday at 8:50am<b>alisenpai</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:47pm<b>UselessReject23</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 7:09pm<b>shadyyguyy</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:53am<b>jjjbrew</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:36pm<b>zjay</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Marshallino</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 12:30pm<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 5:47am<b>raonauman</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:03am<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 10:16pm<b>izekaslam</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:12pm<b>hovve</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:22am<b>KaiwanAvari</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:16pm<b>blade9502</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 8:16am<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:51pm<b>GGregoire</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:30pm<b>oldtoad</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 3:01pm<b>43bubba34</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 10:59am

Fucked!<b>shadyyguyy</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:53pm<b>raonauman</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:04am<b>paravoz</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 8:16am<b>bobbybev95</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:31am<b>aclark2523</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 2:42am<b>bps315</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 10:12pm<b>zahidnasir</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 6:39pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:47am<b>brkopplin</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 1:57pm<b>rwilson32zoom</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:48am<b>thatsaxplayer</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:21pm<b>THEDUDE1553566</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 11:57pm<b>Logicscmogic</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 3:05am<b>mostmontoya</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:44pm<b>toad_shoes</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:12pm<b>Keithjay92</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 4:48pm<b>papygeorges</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 4:47pm<b>MBavnsgaard</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 2:09am

nikkipettyfer's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of nikkipettyfer's badges

nikkipettyfer's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32441) - you deserved it (4528)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML

#20494355
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41691) - you deserved it (12382)

On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23837) - you deserved it (35464)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

#20493004
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53041) - you deserved it (3432)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27844) - you deserved it (3209)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

#20489402
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60066) - you deserved it (3693)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39273) - you deserved it (7908)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48288) - you deserved it (4977)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33000) - you deserved it (7574)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18740) - you deserved it (39579)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27053) - you deserved it (8932)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48557) - you deserved it (7618)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60553) - you deserved it (6960)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: