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nikimarie01

Offline (the 11/21/2014 at 10:34am) | Search for a member

nikimarie01

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 158
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nikimarie01's page activity

Visits<b>elmatador615</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:10pm<b>IceMan11</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 7:32pm<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 2:39pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 4:05pm<b>CarbonCoach</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 1:47am<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 1:12am<b>SadMansSandwich</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 8:06am<b>Claytonioo</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 3:07am

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nikimarie01's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54583) - you deserved it (6720)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55796) - you deserved it (6187) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47432) - you deserved it (4112)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized how bad my insomnia had got when I tried answering my water bottle when my alarm went off. FML

#20901491
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34586) - you deserved it (2765)

On 09/30/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Overworked - United States

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

#20899471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61628) - you deserved it (7225)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49550) - you deserved it (10684)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56340) - you deserved it (6005)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41709) - you deserved it (3665)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22793) - you deserved it (44108)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48005) - you deserved it (23090)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41560) - you deserved it (2759)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40866) - you deserved it (27544)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64948) - you deserved it (6591)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after our grandmother's memorial service, my 9-year-old sister took it upon herself to solemnly inform the priest in front of everyone in attendance that, "You lied. Jesus isn't here." FML



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