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nike177

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nike177's favorite FMLs

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML

#20929016
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52932) - you deserved it (3910)

On 10/21/2013 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other girlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML

#20928840
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48980) - you deserved it (4789)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by other woman - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

#20921212
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46611) - you deserved it (4329)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

#20920631
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39937) - you deserved it (4508)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by zzfreakshow (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

#20919859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43892) - you deserved it (2993)

On 10/14/2013 at 6:38am - work - by Karansuni (woman) - Germany

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42082) - you deserved it (3089)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52412) - you deserved it (3297)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

#20919168
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44068) - you deserved it (3845)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36367) - you deserved it (12276)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21607) - you deserved it (81438)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML

#20918462
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39927) - you deserved it (4079)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by Water Daughter - United States

Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML

#20918430
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39795) - you deserved it (23666)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:23am - money - by hungry (man) - United States

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

#20918380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39427) - you deserved it (9661)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:33am - misc - by markerThief (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

#20917903
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42445) - you deserved it (23952)

On 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla)



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