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nihongoso's favorite FMLs
by Username / 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Love
by Jon / 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy
Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML
by Badaboom / 05/23/2011 at 6:54am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy
by Fatty1970 / 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML
by squirrels69ing / 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 10:18am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML
by Cassie / 05/21/2011 at 3:44am / United States (Kansas) / Love
by wolfie898 / 05/21/2011 at 3:28am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML
by thatsasquee / 05/21/2011 at 2:42am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
by Max Flynn / 05/20/2011 at 6:07am / Miscellaneous
by skiittlez713 / 05/20/2011 at 4:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous