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nihongoso's favorite FMLs
by Username / 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Love
by Jon / 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy
Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML
by Badaboom / 05/23/2011 at 6:54am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy
by Fatty1970 / 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML
by squirrels69ing / 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 10:18am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML
by Cassie / 05/21/2011 at 3:44am / United States (Kansas) / Love
by wolfie898 / 05/21/2011 at 3:28am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML
by thatsasquee / 05/21/2011 at 2:42am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
by Max Flynn / 05/20/2011 at 6:07am / Miscellaneous
by skiittlez713 / 05/20/2011 at 4:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…