Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nihongoso

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

nihongoso

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4943
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

nihongoso's page activity

Visits<b>SerpentBoy</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 5:53pm

nihongoso's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of nihongoso's badges

nihongoso's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was at work at a nursing home I was attempting to dress a woman for bed. She popped me a left hook and I had to ask the nurse to look at my jaw. After my nurse said I was okay she asked me to continue getting the woman dressed for bed. She hit me 5 more times. FML

#18094107
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (2211)

On 10/28/2011 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a god damn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML

#18092758
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28434) - you deserved it (5073)

On 10/27/2011 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get her insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML

#18091969
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13362) - you deserved it (33255)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by Benjamin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally gathered up the guts to say hi to the girl I like. As I was walking down the hallway, I saw her and waved hello, only to walk into a bathroom door. FML

#18061618
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26448) - you deserved it (5380)

On 10/24/2011 at 6:07am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, marks the fourth straight night that my girlfriend has screamed and cried in fear, scratching and kicking me in her sleep. The reason? I took her to see Paranormal Activity 3. FML

#18061589
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14907) - you deserved it (46129)

On 10/24/2011 at 5:47am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

#18057000
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24695) - you deserved it (3906)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm - love - by Mrs. Terrified - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML

#18052733
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32535) - you deserved it (4016)

On 10/23/2011 at 8:38am - love - by mrs.nerd - United States

Today, I was sitting in my room while my mom was talking to my uncle. I had my door open. She said "Yeah my son doesn't know I have his phone password. Girls nowadays are real sluts." FML

#18051184
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (7962)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16934) - you deserved it (30725)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML

#18038631
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25363) - you deserved it (4117)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:19pm - health - by DMStarsky - United States (Texas)

Today, I was chaperoning at my local high school's Homecoming dance. Outside the gym, I saw some kids drinking, so I walked over to stop them. One of them promptly spun around and punched me in the mouth. I had my ass handed to by a drunk 9th grader. FML

#18034298
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (5587)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:17pm - misc - by smeeagain - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML

#18030878
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31803) - you deserved it (6029)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Meath)

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

#18029483
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26706) - you deserved it (17723)

On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

#18026685
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9959) - you deserved it (59030)

On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: