nightwoman

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Offline (the 07/11/2016 at 12:49pm)

nightwoman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1824
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nightwoman's page activity

Visits<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 2:06pm<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:56pm<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 9:51am<b>abdiG</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 7:40pm<b>angelk19</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:24am<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:22pm<b>TatiLoves</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:49am<b>Brainnnnz</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:51pm<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 9:45am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 11:25pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 1:10am<b>thatkidmal</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 8:31am<b>Shiesh</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 11:33pm<b>wilks311</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:08am<b>k_gils</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 5:54pm<b>pistachiopanda</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 2:20pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 5:31pm<b>dman255</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:24am

nightwoman's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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nightwoman's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML

by inveralaska / 06/16/2016 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I was eating breakfast when my little brother goes, "Mommy, what do you do for a living?" and my mom says "I'm a headmaster", and my dad goes, "Oh yeah she is." FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my father, who is not familiar with keyboards, had me register his new email account for him at the public library. His username choice? "Wang dang sweet poon tang". People heard. FML

by cassieleigh1 / 11/05/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to choke back tears as my cockslap of a brother brutally mocked me for being a 25-year-old loser who's never been kissed by a girl, while at 14 he's already lost his virginity. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog. Not because she was worried about me, but because my body was blocking her food dish. FML

by mayhemily / 09/21/2015 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my best friend showed me his New Year's Eve photos. Girls everywhere, booze flowing all over the place and all my friends were there. They still haven't realised that they didn't invite me. We've been friends for seven years. FML

by Mixta / 01/02/2015 at 11:45pm / Love

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

by outsmartedbykids / 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, it's been a week since I found an egg in the street that had seemingly fallen out of a nest. I'd bought a cage and an expensive incubator lamp to save it. It's thus been a week that I've been trying to save a mouldy old potato. FML

by mac cayne / 05/01/2014 at 11:13pm / France (Alsace) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm / United Kingdom (Portsmouth) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have exactly 204 snowflakes saved onto my computer, all of which I made on this snowflake-making website. This is what my life has come to. FML

by ealovan / 03/03/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm / Russian Federation (Moskva) / Intimacy

Today, I'm eight months pregnant with my second child. My 18-month-old son loves to watch my belly move when his baby brother moves. And then loves to smack my belly. It's going to be a long eighteen years. FML

by clrichmond2009 / 02/19/2014 at 1:48pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.