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nightwolf240

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nightwolf240

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  • Number of visits : 965
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nightwolf240's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out what mouse intestines squashed against my bare feet feels like. FML

#21451813
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24111) - you deserved it (2409)

On 08/04/2015 at 3:19pm - animals - by whydoihavecats - United Kingdom

Today, a bunch of friends and I went skinny dipping in a pond. The guys all grabbed the ladies' underpants and waved then around. My bloody pad was inside of one of them. FML

#21451285
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26417) - you deserved it (14022)

On 08/03/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML

#21450341
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23973) - you deserved it (5624)

On 08/01/2015 at 4:29am - animals - by funnnyyyyy -_- (woman) - Nepal

Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML

#21450259
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27846) - you deserved it (2625)

On 08/01/2015 at 12:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

#21449227
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26608) - you deserved it (1526)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

#21448563
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26766) - you deserved it (3248)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

#21448216
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27840) - you deserved it (2128)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26257) - you deserved it (1885)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my pregnant sister has been watching Teen Mom 2 to find out how to be a good parent. FML

#21447950
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27221) - you deserved it (1844)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got the last clean bowl out of the cupboard for a bowl of cereal. After I had finished, my family asked me if I had cleaned it first. It turns out that that specific bowl is apparently the dog's, and everyone just puts it back after feeding him. FML

#21447917
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25134) - you deserved it (4860)

On 07/27/2015 at 5:25am - misc - by NoOrdinaryNZer - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, the drive-thru lady at Taco Bell broke my debit card and tried to hide it by wrapping it in a receipt. FML

#21447771
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26173) - you deserved it (1441)

On 07/26/2015 at 11:00pm - money - by stonehengeva - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

#21447695
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20354) - you deserved it (13161)

On 07/26/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by blondebarbie271 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to put a lasagna in the oven for dinner. I was greeted by a revolting scent of a chicken-soup and biscuits boxed dinner. The fridge apparently was too full for my brother to put it away inside, so he covered it up and forgot about it in the oven. We made that dinner two weeks ago. FML.

#21447669
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20885) - you deserved it (1833)

On 07/26/2015 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went on a fabulous date with a really cute, smart, funny guy. He only mentioned his dad, so when I asked about his mom, I asked if they were divorced. She'd died of breast cancer so I felt awful. Then I asked if his dad had ever remarried. His stepmom had died of cancer too. FML

#21447547
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28185) - you deserved it (2181)

On 07/26/2015 at 2:15pm - love - by lextoast - Rwanda

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced." and took a rain check on me. FML

#21447515
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23482) - you deserved it (2659)

On 07/26/2015 at 1:29pm - misc - by arch maester shavayalsharashion (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)



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