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nightwolf240

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nightwolf240

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  • Number of visits : 330
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nightwolf240's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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nightwolf240's favorite FMLs

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

#21319192
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33063) - you deserved it (2215)

On 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was short on money for bills, so I pulled out my alto saxophone, knowing that no matter how much I loved it, I'd be able pay my rent with the money. As I pulled it out of its case, the neck strap broke and I dropped it, breaking the bell beyond repair. Now I'm poor AND depressed. FML

#21310455
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34954) - you deserved it (3226)

On 12/02/2014 at 11:05pm - misc - by clumsyandpoor (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

#21309730
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42418) - you deserved it (8508)

On 12/01/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42252) - you deserved it (10709)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML

Today, my mom told me that her vagina is "as cute today as it was twenty years ago." FML

#21308358
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28962) - you deserved it (2644)

On 11/29/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by justawallflower - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33004) - you deserved it (2984)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

#21308095
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38187) - you deserved it (4661)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML

#21307548
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32353) - you deserved it (3744)

On 11/28/2014 at 1:43pm - misc - by bullah007 (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32302) - you deserved it (3748)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

#21303306
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35784) - you deserved it (6523)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:18pm - love - by Recluse (man) -

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32384) - you deserved it (8980)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

#21303024
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32006) - you deserved it (15117)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32021) - you deserved it (3538)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

#21299949
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34862) - you deserved it (3415)

On 11/16/2014 at 12:29am - kids - by wtfdad - United States (New Jersey)



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