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nightwolf240

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nightwolf240

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  • Number of visits : 230
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nightwolf240's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of nightwolf240's badges

nightwolf240's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm on the last day of my honeymoon in Ireland. My wife and I have an amazing hotel room and a huge bed. She's passed out drunk and if I even touch her, she needs the bucket next to our bed. So much for finishing our week on a "fun" note. FML

#21267195
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21696) - you deserved it (3007)

On 09/28/2014 at 6:55pm - love - by superman21 - Ireland

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32154) - you deserved it (5039)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30437) - you deserved it (3125)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36552) - you deserved it (3755)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while working as a teacher at a daycare, a two year-old girl decided the best way to share that she had pooped was to reach in her diaper and attempt to hand some to me. FML

#21264874
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27600) - you deserved it (2517)

On 09/25/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by disgusted - United States (Maine)

Today, my mom threw away a bag of tiny parts belonging to a $1,700 robot. Naturally, I figured this out at midnight and had to spend 30 minutes digging through three nasty trashcans overflowing with rotten food and spiders. The bag was dripping with what looked like cheese by the time I found it. FML

Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML

#21264094
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31340) - you deserved it (2497)

On 09/23/2014 at 9:19pm - love - by Tag (woman) - Australia

Today, I saw my boyfriend wiping his nose with his hand and then using the snot to gel back his hair. FML

#21263839
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34175) - you deserved it (4096)

On 09/23/2014 at 2:04pm - love - by danceinconverse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35856) - you deserved it (5382)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35257) - you deserved it (9170)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML

#21261760
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48274) - you deserved it (10744)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML

#21261750
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36607) - you deserved it (4047)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38317) - you deserved it (3542)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)



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