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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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nightwolf1997's favorite FMLs
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Wow / 03/13/2012 at 12:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by whattabrat / 02/26/2012 at 12:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 7:30am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 3:40am / United States (New York) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by ZeroApostle4Ever / 02/23/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm / India / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Rebecca / 01/15/2012 at 7:36pm / Canada / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Username / 06/01/2011 at 8:35am / Canada / Work
by fmyhabit / 04/15/2011 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML
by Abyssal / 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, I checked in at a hotel, got the keys and went up to my room. However, there seemed to be a… Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the…