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nightwolf1997

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nightwolf1997

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 April 1971 (43 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 151
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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nightwolf1997's page activity

Visits<b>CRC_101</b> - the 02/20/2012 at 12:28am

nightwolf1997's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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nightwolf1997's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33012) - you deserved it (5856)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

#19268925
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23421) - you deserved it (7966)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

#19164733
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30398) - you deserved it (2851)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

#19152486
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26313) - you deserved it (5204)

On 02/24/2012 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21972) - you deserved it (6571)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

#19146021
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21341) - you deserved it (3728)

On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

#19144211
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25002) - you deserved it (5866)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by ZeroApostle4Ever - United States

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you deserved it (21835)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29658) - you deserved it (2475)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, as I was pulling into my driveway, I hit my fence. The same fence that I had repaired last week because I had run into it. FML

#18817356
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6867) - you deserved it (36157)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:36pm - misc - by Rebecca (woman) - Canada

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12081) - you deserved it (55668)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36251) - you deserved it (23321)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16445) - you deserved it (27808)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

#15791690
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20674) - you deserved it (52334)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

#15636235
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39738) - you deserved it (10968)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Abyssal (man) - United States (Utah)



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