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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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nightwolf1997's favorite FMLs
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Wow / 03/13/2012 at 12:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by whattabrat / 02/26/2012 at 12:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 7:30am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 3:40am / United States (New York) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by ZeroApostle4Ever / 02/23/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm / India / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Rebecca / 01/15/2012 at 7:36pm / Canada / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Username / 06/01/2011 at 8:35am / Canada / Work
by fmyhabit / 04/15/2011 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML
by Abyssal / 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…