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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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nightsky

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nightsky
  • Town/Country : Odense, Denmark
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 December 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 4692
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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nightsky's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiance and I went to the bar to celebrate my new job. When we got home, we were pretty horny from the alcohol and headed upstairs. While we were taking our clothes off, he began crying out of nowhere and exclaimed "Maybe I'm just gay!" They say true feelings come out when you're drunk. FML

#2225759 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (46528) - you deserved it (2547)

On 05/23/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by jaded401 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053 (704)

I agree, your life sucks (120442) - you deserved it (28812)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

#1971558 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (43403) - you deserved it (7692)

On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a cab driver had to sign me out of the emergency room because I didn't know who else to call. FML

#1962325 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (41564) - you deserved it (2730)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:35pm - health - by ccc (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML

#1958510 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (12202) - you deserved it (43047)

On 05/15/2009 at 7:07am - intimacy - by dwek (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my fiance brought me to his friend's house to hang out. When I got there they said they were playing cards and invited me to join. I sat down with the expectation that they were playing poker. No. They were playing Magic Cards and they thought it was COOL. My fiance plays MAGIC CARDS! FML

#1864199 (707)

I agree, your life sucks (20589) - you deserved it (40365)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by notyourallie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML

#1745966 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (63471) - you deserved it (2591)

On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked in the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML

#1467567 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (8211) - you deserved it (54798)

On 04/29/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

#1183263 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (9257) - you deserved it (48238)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my husband and I were talking about names for our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML

#1182028 (639)

I agree, your life sucks (42009) - you deserved it (21569)

On 04/21/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (77395) - you deserved it (28876)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

#978628 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (90224) - you deserved it (6653)

On 04/14/2009 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML

#963370 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (13462) - you deserved it (49160)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by khood (man) - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML

#963044 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (36759) - you deserved it (22409)

On 04/14/2009 at 12:44am - love - by dramaqueen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife has been singing "I can't get no satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones, all morning. She started singing it right after we had sex. FML

#659165 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (66282) - you deserved it (17170)

On 03/28/2009 at 10:16am - intimacy - by dhouse (man) - United States (Colorado)