Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nightbirdblue

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

nightbirdblue

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6363
  • Number of comments : 298
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

About nightbirdblue : Kitten ears?

nightbirdblue's page activity

Visits<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:58pm<b>Sara95</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:39pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 6:43pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 6:39pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:42am<b>omgwhattt</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 1:07am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 3:41pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:03am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 11:59pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:23am<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:08pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 3:37am<b>Rozza17</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:32am<b>Pesticides</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:51pm<b>mahovalia</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:54pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:04pm<b>ECraine</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 5:39pm

Liked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:43am<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:08pm

nightbirdblue's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of nightbirdblue's badges

nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call at 4 in the morning from the security company, saying someone had broken into my workplace. I drove an hour out there, only to find out it was a rat that had set off the alarm. FML

#21000984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39553) - you deserved it (3060)

On 12/22/2013 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to basically ground my own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. FML

#21000259
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41367) - you deserved it (4402)

On 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden

Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends and family said they were busy so I figured I was getting a surprise party. Nope. They all were actually busy. I spent my birthday alone. FML

#21000068
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47968) - you deserved it (3883)

On 12/21/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by 00bsg - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I came home after working on a difficult case. My husband wasn't home so I hopped into bed. My feet felt something and I reached down and picked it up out of the sheets. It was lacy black thongs. I don't own black thongs. FML

#20999870
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51128) - you deserved it (3334)

On 12/21/2013 at 2:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43667) - you deserved it (2583)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39543) - you deserved it (4437)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, in a desperate attempt to add some variety to my life, I resorted to closing my eyes and picking a random font for my essay paper. FML

#20998799
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31403) - you deserved it (7042)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Jess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother decided to inform me that she doesn't believe canned food can have an expiry date and that the food is still okay to eat years after the 'supposed' expiry date. She's probably been cooking my dinner with expired food for over 17 years. FML

#20998308
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36167) - you deserved it (4462)

On 12/19/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out the money my husband's been funneling from our bank account wasn't for drugs or gifts for another girl like I thought. It was for a guy he stupidly believed was a foreign diplomat, who supposedly needed to bribe officials in order to send us several million dollars. FML

#20997988
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39733) - you deserved it (3893)

On 12/19/2013 at 12:20pm - money - by you fucking idiot (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML

#20997770
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45544) - you deserved it (2762)

On 12/19/2013 at 4:09am - work - by wasted time - United States

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44902) - you deserved it (3479)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54828) - you deserved it (7211)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I came home after a long day at work, and decided to tidy up a bit before finally settling down to relax. I went to take the garbage out, when the bag split and out fell the trash along with hundreds of tiny red ants. FML

#20995776
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36557) - you deserved it (2866)

On 12/17/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36632) - you deserved it (3230)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: