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nightbirdblue

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nightbirdblue
  • Town/Country : Anvil, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2186
  • Number of comments : 266
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About nightbirdblue : D E S C R I P T I O N

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Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

#20885188
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41749) - you deserved it (3406)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

#20885155
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47742) - you deserved it (5748)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by someone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39048) - you deserved it (2363)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to my grandfather that Canadians aren't evil by reminding him that he's Canadian. FML

#20885056
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35293) - you deserved it (2350)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed that my new colleague never laughs. Instead she says, "LOL". I have to work with her every day. FML

#20884887
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37165) - you deserved it (2487)

On 09/17/2013 at 4:26am - work - by Jienaf (man) - Malta

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

#20883830
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44469) - you deserved it (6768)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:08pm - love - by Jake - United States (Oregon)

Today, my son asked me if slavery was ever abolished. He's 19. FML

#20883742
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40015) - you deserved it (6471)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40600) - you deserved it (5165)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50136) - you deserved it (25040)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my boss took me to one side and said, "Cross me like that ever again, and you're fired." I have no clue what he was talking about, and he denies ever having said a word to me. FML

#20882475
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35320) - you deserved it (2328)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:47pm - work - by what... (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37915) - you deserved it (2481)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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