Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nightbirdblue

Offline (the 08/12/2015 at 8:41pm) | Search for a member

nightbirdblue

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Pittsburgh, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 May 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12698
  • Number of comments : 317
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 35 posted

About nightbirdblue : I had some great statement to say about FML earlier, but i forgot it.

nightbirdblue's page activity

Visits<b>hullarms</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:17pm<b>sugoi72</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 2:50pm<b>hannah_cheers</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 3:05pm<b>AwkwardKryssi</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 5:23pm<b>mcore</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 1:54am<b>StephanieT97</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Cringey</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:35am<b>myanichole</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 11:02pm<b>SW5175SW</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:04pm<b>chlobo1122</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:22am<b>zeusdom</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:29pm<b>mikehomza30</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 3:26pm<b>toma1945</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 5:13pm<b>KingCeeJay</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Jenn_Ohio</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:05pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 6:56pm<b>Morticia_Addams</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 9:27am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 5:49pm

Fucked!<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 11:49pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:43am<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:08pm

nightbirdblue's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of nightbirdblue's badges

nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, and drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light she hit us. She then yelled that I purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are". FML

#21129304
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49539) - you deserved it (3224)

On 05/03/2014 at 1:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boss told our production department that we're not allowed to be happy. FML

#21129081
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40348) - you deserved it (3388)

On 05/02/2014 at 8:03pm - work - by i guess (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh". Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though". FML

#21128889
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43353) - you deserved it (4223)

On 05/02/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML

#21128831
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41953) - you deserved it (3178)

On 05/02/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by thanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38949) - you deserved it (4268)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

Today, I had an ingrown toenail cut out, and the pain medication I received does not actually help with the pain. Instead, it makes me high, which results in me losing balance and slamming my injured toe into objects and then getting sick from that new pain. FML

#21128289
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43963) - you deserved it (4502)

On 05/01/2014 at 8:23pm - health - by pained (woman) - United States

Today, I had to once again lie to a customer about why I was the only one manning the shop, saying that they must have run out for lunch - my coworkers were too busy getting stoned in their cars to do their job. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to drive to India. Thinking he meant Indiana, I said sure, knowing I have friends there. He said, "Bangladesh, India, here we come!" He was serious. FML

#21128139
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38583) - you deserved it (6858)

On 05/01/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by GAGirl1 (woman) - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML

#21127290
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35879) - you deserved it (7949)

On 04/30/2014 at 4:56pm - health - by idiotfucks (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, after getting home from finals and finishing the semester, I had a very heartfelt reunion with my dog during which he licked me all over the face. About an hour later, my dad told me, "By the way, don't let him lick you, he has hookworms." FML

#21126684
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44259) - you deserved it (4737)

On 04/29/2014 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anon (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46216) - you deserved it (5244)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of three years. I worked my ass off planning everything down to a T. It seemed perfect, until I actually proposed, at which point I was rejected and dumped, in front of my family, friends and two coworkers. FML

#21126146
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49838) - you deserved it (5278)

On 04/29/2014 at 10:18am - love - by willstaysingle (man) -

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

#21125451
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36497) - you deserved it (4601)

On 04/28/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Cat vs. Dog - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

#21124489
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37425) - you deserved it (4695)

On 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude (man) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: