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nightbirdblue

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nightbirdblue

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4520
  • Number of comments : 285
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About nightbirdblue : Kitten ears?

nightbirdblue's page activity

Visits<b>flufee2</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Mornai</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 10:26am<b>DArthurVaderian</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:11pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:54pm<b>QD</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:44am<b>isuckwithnames</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:26pm<b>fvt</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 6:41am<b>Crofty92</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:56am<b>VeganVampyre</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:25am<b>Will21</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 4:02pm<b>starsierra</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 10:57am<b>kayse</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 7:08pm<b>fu7127</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:59am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 4:04am<b>weirdangelz2</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 3:29pm<b>lexa1love</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Gestpacho88</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:22am<b>EchoSerenity</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:05pm

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

#21050005
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40751) - you deserved it (4366)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:16am - misc - by Lithiac - United States (Florida)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41061) - you deserved it (3810)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40901) - you deserved it (10303)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was bitched out at 2am by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

#21048094
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41083) - you deserved it (3580)

On 02/02/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

#21047796
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40620) - you deserved it (6277)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:33am - misc - by tsukinoie - United States

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML

#21047196
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36456) - you deserved it (12210)

On 02/01/2014 at 1:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering mail, I was yelled at by a guy, who threatened to shoot me if I "trespassed" on his property. He made me toss his mail toward his porch from the street, before telling me to get lost. FML

#21046250
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36613) - you deserved it (2959)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:46pm - work - by fuckfuck (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

#21046118
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58711) - you deserved it (11416)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

#21045897
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47298) - you deserved it (7015)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:16am - intimacy - by CatBlock (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40870) - you deserved it (4441)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML

#21045309
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38136) - you deserved it (4006)

On 01/30/2014 at 3:55pm - health - by ramble ramble (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while playing badminton at school, I got an opponent who is mentally handicapped. Since I'm terrible at the game, I guess the teacher assumed it would be a good match. I won the match, my first victory ever. My teacher accused me of cheating to humiliate him. FML

#21045157
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40903) - you deserved it (4006)

On 01/30/2014 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49755) - you deserved it (6235)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

#21044324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49900) - you deserved it (5386)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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