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Offline (the 09/25/2016 at 4:38am)



  • Town/Country : Pittsburgh, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 May 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17972
  • Number of comments : 317
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 36 posted

About nightbirdblue : I had some great statement to say about FML earlier, but i forgot it.

nightbirdblue's page activity

Visits<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 7:11pm<b>ColCyclone</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 1:12am<b>talon327</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 10:53pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 1:54pm<b>Fredrick010</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 3:14pm<b>HPCullen251</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 12:52pm<b>Scorpio1691</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 3:45pm<b>28actress</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 10:20am<b>TeenieRee_2032</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 12:59am<b>xLIGHTS</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 3:44am<b>laurenswims13</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 4:59pm<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 9:48am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 3:54pm<b>jlmartin411</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 1:42pm<b>quazimozart</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 1:01pm<b>fuckmeormylife</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 10:51pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 10:43pm<b>sarcasticjane</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 9:21am

Fucked!<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 6:32pm<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 11:49pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:43am<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:08pm

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nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

by Annomymous / 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

by LD / 01/23/2015 at 11:46am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML

by Ineedlotsofwater / 01/23/2015 at 11:41am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML

by Mishlette / 01/23/2015 at 8:27am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Work

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

by annoyed / 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2015 at 1:27pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

Today, a homeless guy tried to light my hair on fire with a match at the bus stop. FML

by burningman / 01/22/2015 at 5:40am / Germany (Hessen) / Transportation

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2015 at 1:41am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2015 at 6:57am / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2015 at 3:33am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2015 at 12:34am / Work

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

by frozenpoo / 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm / United States / Kids

Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML

by fun in functioning, I suppose / 01/20/2015 at 2:54pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

by mybfthecrossdresser / 01/20/2015 at 10:08am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love