Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nightbirdblue

Online | Search for a member

nightbirdblue

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5560
  • Number of comments : 291
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

About nightbirdblue : Kitten ears?

nightbirdblue's page activity

Visits<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 3:41pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:03am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 11:59pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:23am<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:08pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 3:37am<b>Rozza17</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:32am<b>Pesticides</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:51pm<b>mahovalia</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:54pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:04pm<b>ECraine</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 5:39pm<b>imdone2008</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:02pm<b>TheOnlyKittyKat</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 12:15am<b>cinskeep43</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 3:31pm<b>flufee2</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:21pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 10:26am<b>DArthurVaderian</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:11pm

Liked!<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:08pm

nightbirdblue's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of nightbirdblue's badges

nightbirdblue's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

#21248418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34364) - you deserved it (2741)

On 08/30/2014 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

#21247834
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36243) - you deserved it (3206)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said "nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML

#21247278
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37526) - you deserved it (2893)

On 08/28/2014 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Portugal

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38286) - you deserved it (2806)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35627) - you deserved it (2608)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36700) - you deserved it (13770)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41604) - you deserved it (4698)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

#21244619
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30904) - you deserved it (5452)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:08pm - animals - by notmyrealname123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML

#21244545
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38477) - you deserved it (3042)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

#21244154
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38460) - you deserved it (3062)

On 08/24/2014 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

#21242846
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42359) - you deserved it (2717)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:09am - misc - by up to no-good... - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my 24-year-old, unemployed brother stole all of my food money and went out with his friends. His punishment from our parents? He has to pay me back when he gets a job. My stomach has to wait. FML

#21241750
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40149) - you deserved it (2598)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:59pm - money - by HungryStudent (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I complained to my two roommates about housework not being done. They both put their hands over their ears and started screaming at the top of their voice. They do this pretty much whenever I say anything to them. FML

#21238842
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40423) - you deserved it (5193)

On 08/16/2014 at 8:10am - misc - by Jenn (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39957) - you deserved it (3231)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38740) - you deserved it (2577)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: