night520

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night520

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 396
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About night520 : im 16 i love making new friends message me n ill give u my kik or hit me up on instagram! im random crazy loud n couldnt live without music im also a horrible speller so dont judge me lol (:

night520's page activity

Visits<b>DalPozzo13</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:12pm<b>colerean</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 3:49pm<b>error404n0tf0und</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 5:22pm<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 10:08am<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 7:33am<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 10:39pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 8:59pm<b>baseballdude1283</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 2:31pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 3:34pm<b>tiffanyml</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 3:25pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 5:58am<b>olpally</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 11:10pm<b>schmuckjon79</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 2:48pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 6:59am<b>yankeesfancg</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 10:50am<b>Ladisa</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 8:06am<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 12:24am<b>gdduncan</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 12:40pm

night520's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of night520's badges

night520's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's freshly-repainted car got keyed. He's literally more of an inconsolable wreck now than he was when his own mother passed away last year. When I tried hinting that he was overreacting, he told me to go to hell. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

by twatstick / 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work

Today, I was to give a business report to several important shareholders. Right at the start, I broke into a coughing fit, then got so nervous that I froze up. When I tried to excuse myself, I tripped over my own feet. I'm now facing demotion for making the company look bad. FML

by socianx / 08/18/2013 at 5:23pm / Albania / Work

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML

by cheerbabeXoXo / 06/29/2013 at 5:49pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Love

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm / Czech Republic / Transportation

Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 12:52pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

by Grubendol / 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals

Today, I called my mother who is vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me is if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favourite cat drowned in the pool. FML

by baddaughter / 11/16/2009 at 12:11pm / Canada (Quebec) / Holidays