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niggasnowman's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm / Sweden / Kids
Today, I found a credit card at my job. As store policy goes, we have to cut up lost cards immediately after finding them to protect the cardholders. As I grab the scissors and cut, my manager calls out, "Has anyone seen my credit card?" FML
by mariology / 12/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Delaware) / Work
by ashsaunde / 12/08/2013 at 1:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, a customer threatened to come back later and shoot the whole place up. Why? I didn't give him a discount on his beer. My boss's reaction when I called the police: "Why didn't you give him the discount?!" Last week he bitched me out for letting a girl off for being a few cents short on hers. FML
by eat my fucking ass, boss / 12/06/2013 at 6:37pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/05/2013 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom (Sunderland) / Intimacy
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML
by KarateKid76 / 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by MissDQ / 12/02/2013 at 8:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by tortured / 11/26/2013 at 10:11pm / United States / Work
Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML
by Amanda / 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm / United States / Love
by HaedLei / 11/26/2013 at 7:17am / United States / Intimacy
by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Mississippi) / Kids
Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML
by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by meesmees / 11/23/2013 at 5:48am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML
by fecal romance / 11/23/2013 at 5:32am / United States (Arizona) / Love
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…