Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

niftyismybitch

Online | Search for a member

niftyismybitch

1Fucked!

niftyismybitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 675
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About niftyismybitch : FML indeed...

niftyismybitch's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 9:03am<b>lolie13x</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:45am<b>NikkiNiks16</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:24pm<b>LeBandit</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 3:26pm<b>Ghost_Writer</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:05pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 9:55pm<b>Jaydacookie</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Marebare23</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 10:46am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 9:37pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 5:49am<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:19am<b>TanzWolf</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:29pm<b>paramor3</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:15am<b>grritsshay</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:44pm<b>NicoleErin</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:46am<b>BBlah</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:05am<b>allred1997</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:01am<b>nomoreparty</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 10:05am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:45am

niftyismybitch's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of niftyismybitch's badges

niftyismybitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30660) - you deserved it (3639)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

#21299443
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32371) - you deserved it (8963)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:25am - misc - by That_Indian_Guy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

#21283103
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33998) - you deserved it (6941)

On 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

#21153496
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51124) - you deserved it (5338)

On 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46722) - you deserved it (5645)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29227) - you deserved it (42010)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML

#20915004
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35375) - you deserved it (15196)

On 10/10/2013 at 10:11am - animals - by failure (man) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1240674) - you deserved it (137774)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: