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nicopo

Offline (the 01/27/2015 at 4:53pm) | Search for a member

nicopo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1800
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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nicopo's favorite FMLs

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

#20116490
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18786) - you deserved it (7779)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

#20114536
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24918) - you deserved it (5772)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33979) - you deserved it (5522)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27576) - you deserved it (4733)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16186) - you deserved it (61102)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

#20108214
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22700) - you deserved it (4709)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

#20104673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34584) - you deserved it (2338)

On 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML

#20102886
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22070) - you deserved it (11921)

On 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

#20102571
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21257) - you deserved it (4452)

On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47856) - you deserved it (1998)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35717) - you deserved it (4852)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

#20091945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32635) - you deserved it (2389)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML

#20091434
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15581) - you deserved it (4632)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by MB101 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML

#20089382
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8259) - you deserved it (31654)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada



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