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nicopo

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nicopo
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, U.S.
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 766
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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nicopo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

#20108214
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17164) - you deserved it (3322)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

#20104673
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32456) - you deserved it (2165)

On 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML

#20102886
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19198) - you deserved it (10801)

On 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

#20102571
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17835) - you deserved it (3970)

On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45198) - you deserved it (1821)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30007) - you deserved it (4272)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

#20091945
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30067) - you deserved it (2172)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML

#20091434
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12974) - you deserved it (4263)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by MB101 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML

#20089382
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7142) - you deserved it (27932)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14303) - you deserved it (27369)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

#20087001
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14712) - you deserved it (18872)

On 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by foreveralone (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19603) - you deserved it (11073)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16384) - you deserved it (24399)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

#20074793
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21587) - you deserved it (2111)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)



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