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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17647) - you deserved it (2937)
On 05/05/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by CALIdime_15 - United States
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10055) - you deserved it (29165)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6735) - you deserved it (18195)
On 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by anonymous4991 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25102) - you deserved it (5454)
On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10991) - you deserved it (37158) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23584) - you deserved it (2352)
On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19000) - you deserved it (3090)
On 04/27/2012 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17499) - you deserved it (1467)
On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States
Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5450) - you deserved it (16855)
On 04/27/2012 at 12:29am - health - by Weak Disposition (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18450) - you deserved it (1289)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:46pm - misc - by :| (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20245) - you deserved it (2944)
On 04/19/2012 at 2:00pm - love - by amber (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6750) - you deserved it (21856)
On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad found out that there is a free, 24 hour, 7 days a week religious channel. Now that's all he watches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18071) - you deserved it (1715)
On 04/09/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by awwman - United States
Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20150) - you deserved it (7072)
On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)
Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17296) - you deserved it (4069)
On 04/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by nobrows (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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