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nicopo

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nicopo
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, U.S.
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 757
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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nicopo's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that my three-year-old daughter has mastered the art of pickpocketing. While I was driving to work this morning, my car broke down. I reached in my pocket to call AAA on my cell, only to find her squirt gun in its place. FML

#19612373
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17985) - you deserved it (2193)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

#19606194
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4799) - you deserved it (18702)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:33am - misc - by anamota89 (woman) - United States

Today, it was my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises inside the door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML

#19604267
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27090) - you deserved it (1698)

On 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18544) - you deserved it (1832)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

#19594950
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25054) - you deserved it (2108)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (2843)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18828) - you deserved it (7569)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43845) - you deserved it (8536)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

#19584401
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11948) - you deserved it (160240)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML

#19583870
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32415) - you deserved it (3053)

On 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm - intimacy - by madseason (man) - United States

Today, I noticed my nephew has blue eyes, freckles and dimples which don't run in my family or my sister's husband's family, but they do run in my husband's family. FML

#19581290
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35008) - you deserved it (3522)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Damn (woman) - Australia

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15310) - you deserved it (27025)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

#19577163
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27127) - you deserved it (3553)

On 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

#19575752
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18503) - you deserved it (3005)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by CALIdime_15 - United States

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10326) - you deserved it (29898)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States



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