Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nicopo

Search for a member

nicopo

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1102
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

nicopo's page activity

Visits<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 8:08pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 9:40am<b>aa1717</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 7:19pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 10:18am<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 4:45am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 6:23pm<b>datine22</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 7:42pm<b>olpally</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 12:11am<b>Sporkly</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 10:27pm<b>jonathan896</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 11:59pm<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 12:46pm<b>anne90210</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 1:03am<b>JillianBall</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 2:08pm<b>kylemannsaustins</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 3:25pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 7:38pm<b>plainoldLyss</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 12:26pm<b>bmackdaddy12</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 12:19pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 12:46am

nicopo's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of nicopo's badges

nicopo's favorite FMLs

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18213) - you deserved it (36505)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13094) - you deserved it (24585)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the airport. I was on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was 4. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to f*ck off. The strange man was my father. FML

#19887326
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34576) - you deserved it (3476)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by BunniesOnAcid - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

#19864989
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15087) - you deserved it (26987)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

#19862258
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19846) - you deserved it (3402)

On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

#19855906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24751) - you deserved it (4241)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by RatCityChick - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to have a long and awkward meeting with my boss. It wouldn't have been too awkward though, if I didn't have to avoid staring at her exposed breast whilst she fed her 8 week old baby. FML

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7461) - you deserved it (32754)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML

#19851846
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23929) - you deserved it (1811)

On 06/26/2012 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

#19851648
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22875) - you deserved it (1598)

On 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML

#19848904
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8860) - you deserved it (27267)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:18am - work - by cmck932012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

#19838531
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30267) - you deserved it (2851)

On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed that my son only really looks like me when he's straining to take a dump. FML

#19835605
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17884) - you deserved it (3418)

On 06/23/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Gremlin (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

#19824266
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17907) - you deserved it (2979)

On 06/21/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by noquiero (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

#19824188
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (2507)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: