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nicopo

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nicopo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1794
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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nicopo's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18973) - you deserved it (24397)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML

#20054655
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21147) - you deserved it (2288)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:10pm - animals - by difference between birds and mammals. - Australia

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27804) - you deserved it (4627)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12398) - you deserved it (35916)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

#20051346
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21661) - you deserved it (4319)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, while I was at work, my wife sent me a few pictures of her in a new lingerie, to "spice up" my day. She didn't realize that I have iCloud turned on so I can share files with my colleagues. My boss and a dozen other employees received the same pictures. FML

#20040897
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12006) - you deserved it (22618)

On 08/25/2012 at 12:06pm - work - by Michael D. (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37245) - you deserved it (10855) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9322) - you deserved it (25171)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38076) - you deserved it (2207)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

#20025968
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24577) - you deserved it (2683)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Sarah - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46898) - you deserved it (3062)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14844) - you deserved it (38544)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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