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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28791) - you deserved it (3685)
On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59900) - you deserved it (6186)
On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12006) - you deserved it (44772)
On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37570) - you deserved it (2750)
On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45614) - you deserved it (4127)
On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39458) - you deserved it (4429)
On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31318) - you deserved it (1962)
On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34562) - you deserved it (2576)
On 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by chickenmcnuggetgirl (woman) - Ireland (Meath)
Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40324) - you deserved it (1998)
On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37831) - you deserved it (3030)
Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29690) - you deserved it (4833)
On 03/04/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by claytwin - United States
Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13216) - you deserved it (29914)
On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (5088)
On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31852) - you deserved it (6275)
On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I finished my shift at the nursing home. There was too much snow on the roads, so most of us had to stay overnight. Not only did I not get to go home, I also got stuck sleeping in the same bed that a resident had died in the night before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25645) - you deserved it (1322)
On 02/13/2013 at 12:20pm - work - by death bed (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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