Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nicolexsmile

Search for a member

nicolexsmile

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2757
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

nicolexsmile's page activity

Visits<b>hat</b> - the 07/26/2009 at 10:38pm<b>generalsmith2</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 11:15pm<b>roundnproud</b> - the 06/22/2009 at 8:37pm<b>mari0958</b> - the 06/22/2009 at 7:26pm<b>NiCocaCola</b> - the 06/22/2009 at 4:54pm

nicolexsmile's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

nicolexsmile's favorite FMLs

Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML

#3790297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36454) - you deserved it (11612)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by newsgirl (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was in a music shop looking for a new guitar when someone called out someone else's name and jumped on my back. I lost balance and fell forward and broke 3 guitars and damaged another 6. The guy said "Sorry, thought you were someone else" and ran out. I now have to pay £2500. FML

#3741776
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61590) - you deserved it (2816)

On 07/14/2009 at 9:39am - money - by SomeoneElse (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancé and I toured our dream home. I was so excited about it that I posted all kinds of pictures of it on Facebook. My Boss' daughter just called and said she loved my pictures so much she made an offer on the house. We were 1 week away from making an offer. FML

#3729868
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46865) - you deserved it (30087)

On 07/13/2009 at 10:16pm - money - by Homeless (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while I was working as a waitress, I had to wait on a table of 13 people. I was struggling through it and when they finally left I went by the table to pick up my tip. Instead of a money I got a napkin saying "Here's your tip, don't be a waitress." FML

#3729416
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53189) - you deserved it (6227)

On 07/13/2009 at 10:04pm - work - by Nick (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

#3713033
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43830) - you deserved it (3657)

On 07/13/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

#3692539
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45717) - you deserved it (11500)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML

#3669971
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55094) - you deserved it (8431)

On 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by waxinghorror (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

#3654614
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41561) - you deserved it (26736)

On 07/10/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by roar_shark - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML

#3646272
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59132) - you deserved it (3848)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)

Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML

#3645311
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51115) - you deserved it (10729)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by whitewater_al (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML

#3630061
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21575) - you deserved it (55319)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to take a nap while babysitting my neighbors kids for the day. I was woken up by this obnoxious sound, only to find the youngest kid holding scissors in one hand, a pony tail of hair in his shorts jumping around like a horse, oh, and a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

#3620845
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18570) - you deserved it (53499)

On 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm - kids - by armybrat - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was working at the gas station. An old lady was watching me fill her gas tank. A really beautiful girl walked by. I lost concentration and overfilled the tank. I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady with a bit of petrol. She was smiling and gave a slight moan. FML

#3611861
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47445) - you deserved it (12302)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Fattie (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

#3610078
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11828) - you deserved it (51832)

On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

#3600725
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59299) - you deserved it (7117)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: