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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out I have an option on my phone to postpone the sending of my text messages. I thought it would be cute to send my boyfriend texts saying, " I love you and sweet dreams" every night at midnight for a month. He broke up with me and I can't figure out how to stop the texts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31523) - you deserved it (20899)
On 08/04/2009 at 4:26am - misc - by Optimist - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38152) - you deserved it (17207)
On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42868) - you deserved it (2911)
On 08/03/2009 at 7:45am - misc - by callerid (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36890) - you deserved it (1002)
On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I needed to buy Vagisil. I went to the grocery store so I could use the self check-out. My item rung up incorrectly, so a girl came to help. She was new and having trouble, so she called more people to help. I ended up having five people around me talking about my Vagisil purchase. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39833) - you deserved it (3571)
On 07/31/2009 at 5:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44394) - you deserved it (5249)
On 07/31/2009 at 12:02pm - love - by WiltedFlower (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at the Polish border when I found my passport was gone. I contacted the last place I stayed at and the owner said he would handle it. I reluctantly agreed as I was being charged international rates. Apparently, "taking care of it" means telling the embassy I'm retarded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27935) - you deserved it (4446)
On 07/31/2009 at 4:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)
Today, at work I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8331) - you deserved it (34228)
On 07/31/2009 at 1:25am - work - by pisspantsjob (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39621) - you deserved it (3064)
On 07/30/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by thesockmancometh (man) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15415) - you deserved it (35255)
On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44994) - you deserved it (1855)
On 07/29/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Beefballs (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43808) - you deserved it (6257)
On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had two minutes to get to the bus stop which usually takes me eight minutes. I had to catch that bus to be at work at the hospital in time. I was in such a hurry, I didn't have the time to tie my shoe laces. I ran with untied shoe laces. I did end up in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28023) - you deserved it (10023)
On 07/28/2009 at 2:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Finnmark)
Today, I went to see a movie. While buying tickets, the girl behind the counter asked to show my ID card to proof I'm at least 16 years old. Not wanting to make a drama, I showed it. She took a look at it and declared it as fake. That ID is real and I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46516) - you deserved it (2462)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Limburg)
Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8741) - you deserved it (56157)
On 07/28/2009 at 11:23am - work - by dotcomboy - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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