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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I walked past a group of men at the mall and one of them mooed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20064) - you deserved it (4492)
On 02/05/2010 at 9:18pm - misc - by LynnJ (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8734) - you deserved it (2178)
On 01/25/2010 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16477) - you deserved it (3136)
On 09/14/2009 at 8:58am - intimacy - by Humiliated (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24208) - you deserved it (5214)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11816) - you deserved it (3288)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Loveless (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6196) - you deserved it (23631)
On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43969) - you deserved it (9667)
On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10434) - you deserved it (28188)
On 08/30/2009 at 11:22am - misc - by Mirroronthewall (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10042) - you deserved it (35534)
On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, it was my next-door neighbor's birthday. Over the past year, his pitbull has attacked my stepdad several times and put some stiches on me. Lucky for us, the dog was finally put down. For his birthday my neighbor got a new, bigger, pitbull. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24522) - you deserved it (3149)
On 08/22/2009 at 5:07pm - animals - by ShockBait (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67482) - you deserved it (5187)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the laundromat doing my clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak my sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6312) - you deserved it (47842)
On 08/18/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by Laundrylady (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14361) - you deserved it (46836)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius
Today, I asked a woman where her beautiful accent was from. The woman stared at me for a while. Then her daughter told me that the reason her mother talked like that was because she had a stroke a few months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39237) - you deserved it (7358)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by anonymus (man) - United States
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61168) - you deserved it (4233)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
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