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nicole629

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nicole629

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  • Number of visits : 57
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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nicole629's favorite FMLs

Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML

#19708258
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (5146)

On 05/31/2012 at 2:50am - love - by Getmeout (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

#19625273
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19359) - you deserved it (2471)

On 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML

#19621592
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9586) - you deserved it (34000)

On 05/14/2012 at 10:22am - misc - by Anonymous - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML

#19620507
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25403) - you deserved it (3651)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:27am - intimacy - by sneezeattack (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

#19619815
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (2545)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML

#19614809
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26493) - you deserved it (2329)

On 05/13/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by vron991 - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML

#19590549
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19930) - you deserved it (2494)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Ellie (woman) - United States

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

#19134075
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22974) - you deserved it (2811)

On 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by kohler9790 - United States

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38738) - you deserved it (6176)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

#18095179
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (2161)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:50am - misc - by -__- - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I saw an old man on his porch. Being friendly, I waved at him as I ran by. Apparently his idea of greeting someone is pelting them with stones. FML

#18087058
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21162) - you deserved it (2334)

On 10/27/2011 at 4:06am - misc - by unlucky - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40575) - you deserved it (5229)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

#17986846
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37169) - you deserved it (3130)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Ania (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

#16559634
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41386) - you deserved it (3370)

On 06/08/2011 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

#16189059
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12799) - you deserved it (30457)

On 05/15/2011 at 2:49pm - misc - by NoLife (woman) - United States (California)



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