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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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nickyg55555

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nickyg55555
  • Town/Country : The 603, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 October 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1445
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nickyg55555's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

#916470 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (12367) - you deserved it (64421)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML

#916458 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (55534) - you deserved it (3406)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by thisblows (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764 (406)

I agree, your life sucks (111475) - you deserved it (4667)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend, and best friend, had baked a cake, and wouldnt tell anyone who it was for. When I asked he said I'd know soon. He met me after class to break up with me and offered me the cake to make me feel better. FML

#915379 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (54620) - you deserved it (2116)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was training for my new job at a restaurant. As part of training, they give you free food so you know what to reccommend, and the dish I got was really good. Eight hours later I saw it again while I was puking; I got food poisoning from my own place of work. FML

#914179 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (39995) - you deserved it (2073)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12pm - work - by newhostess (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend got the breast implants she's been wanting for the last 5 years. When I went to pick her up at the hospital she said, "Maybe I can find a guy with a real job now!" I paid for her fake tits. FML

#913985 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (51918) - you deserved it (14423)

On 04/11/2009 at 11:47am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to close a simple $400 deal with a homeowner. He spent 3 hours telling me about his life story including his marital problems, his philosophical views of the world, AND he read me 20 pages of haiku poems. Only 3 hours later did he tell me he couldn't accept my deal. FML

#911885 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (43253) - you deserved it (4270)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:42am - money - by canabana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to Britney's concert. About halfway through the show, the person next to me turns to me and asks, "Can you do me a favour?" Thinking that she wanted me to look after her stuff, I said sure. Her next sentence was: "Can you stop singing?" FML

#911681 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (28412)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the cute girl was my three years old niece. I lost a tooth because of that punch. FML

#910905 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (71065) - you deserved it (3131)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:36am - love - by GotPunched (man) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML

#910687 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (26518) - you deserved it (45634)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by ripped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616 (353)

I agree, your life sucks (57689) - you deserved it (15062)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

#904646 (423)

I agree, your life sucks (173043) - you deserved it (21506)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML

#904638 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (58433) - you deserved it (3036)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by yum. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was babysitting a five year old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML

#904176 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (51380) - you deserved it (4087)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:07pm - kids - by boyfriendless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an akward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML

#902555 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (41355) - you deserved it (1909)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by ellarose - United States (Maryland)



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