Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 870
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About nickownes1 : I love this app. So addicting.
Some of my favorite users/ commenters and why:

1. NoorFML - Guys, let's be honest, how could you NOT love Noor?!?!?

2. DocBastard - This guy always knows what to say to make everyone laugh. He never gets dislikes on a comment. And let's be honest, his profile picture is bad ass!

nickownes1's page activity

Visits<b>ms1114</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 3:48pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 12:52pm<b>Recon13x</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 12:22am<b>CodyMcCullough12</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 10:38pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 3:50pm<b>nic5x</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 2:43am<b>niknakpattywak</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 8:49pm<b>mkrbrox</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:03pm<b>hexblot</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 1:03am<b>ashleyek</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 1:41pm<b>Nyo84</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 2:33pm<b>MichiSixx</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 3:00am<b>wonder02</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 5:56pm<b>TomPusslicker</b> - the 09/10/2012 at 3:20pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 09/10/2012 at 10:27am<b>apndi</b> - the 09/09/2012 at 10:59pm<b>jonooooo</b> - the 09/09/2012 at 5:41am<b>lostfaithinpppl</b> - the 09/09/2012 at 1:34am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 6:51pm

nickownes1's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

nickownes1's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14538) - you deserved it (68523)

On 11/18/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by omgitserika - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12361) - you deserved it (85650)

On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37478) - you deserved it (9624)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41707) - you deserved it (7464)

On 10/17/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by AdriBAMF - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24064) - you deserved it (57225)

On 07/30/2009 at 5:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12008) - you deserved it (77472)

On 06/27/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by mtorres8789 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48956) - you deserved it (130407)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54914) - you deserved it (12161)

On 04/25/2009 at 3:12pm - animals - by birdmagnet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20627) - you deserved it (116677)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36943) - you deserved it (130933)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (255781) - you deserved it (87427)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: