nickownes1

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nickownes1

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 987
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About nickownes1 : I love this app. So addicting.
Some of my favorite users/ commenters and why:

1. NoorFML - Guys, let's be honest, how could you NOT love Noor?!?!?

2. DocBastard - This guy always knows what to say to make everyone laugh. He never gets dislikes on a comment. And let's be honest, his profile picture is bad ass!

nickownes1's page activity

Visits<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 3:36pm<b>DaBayst</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 9:55am<b>ms1114</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 3:48pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 12:52pm<b>Recon13x</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 12:22am<b>CodyMcCullough12</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 10:38pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 3:50pm<b>nic5x</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 2:43am<b>niknakpattywak</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 8:49pm<b>mkrbrox</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:03pm<b>hexblot</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 1:03am<b>ashleyek</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 1:41pm<b>Nyo84</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 2:33pm<b>MichiSixx</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 3:00am<b>wonder02</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 5:56pm<b>TomPusslicker</b> - the 09/10/2012 at 3:20pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 09/10/2012 at 10:27am<b>apndi</b> - the 09/09/2012 at 10:59pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 6:51pm

nickownes1's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

nickownes1's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML

by omgitserika / 11/18/2009 at 10:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML

by AdriBAMF / 10/17/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2009 at 5:23am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML

by mtorres8789 / 06/27/2009 at 2:33am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML

by toomuchmetal / 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

by dawg3360 / 06/07/2009 at 2:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML

by birdmagnet / 04/25/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

by nic / 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

by Wmsys32pr9 / 03/30/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

by douchetard / 03/26/2009 at 3:37am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids