Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nickownes1

Search for a member

nickownes1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 613
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About nickownes1 : I love this app. So addicting.
Some of my favorite users/ commenters and why:

1. NoorFML - Guys, let's be honest, how could you NOT love Noor?!?!?

2. DocBastard - This guy always knows what to say to make everyone laugh. He never gets dislikes on a comment. And let's be honest, his profile picture is bad ass!

nickownes1's page activity

Visits<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 3:50pm<b>nic5x</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 2:43am<b>niknakpattywak</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 8:49pm<b>mkrbrox</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:03pm<b>hexblot</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 1:03am<b>ashleyek</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 1:41pm<b>Nyo84</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 2:33pm<b>MichiSixx</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 3:00am<b>wonder02</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 5:56pm<b>TomPusslicker</b> - the 09/10/2012 at 3:20pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 09/10/2012 at 10:27am<b>apndi</b> - the 09/09/2012 at 10:59pm<b>jonooooo</b> - the 09/09/2012 at 5:41am<b>lostfaithinpppl</b> - the 09/09/2012 at 1:34am<b>Kurochrome</b> - the 09/08/2012 at 3:28pm<b>kristat</b> - the 09/08/2012 at 1:30pm<b>eternal7</b> - the 09/08/2012 at 1:25pm<b>falafalo</b> - the 09/08/2012 at 12:28pm

nickownes1's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

nickownes1's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59290) - you deserved it (3047)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

#20035898
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22677) - you deserved it (1604)

On 08/22/2012 at 4:27pm - misc - by XYZee - United States (Georgia)

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

#20023096
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31983) - you deserved it (2678)

On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume for their friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. FML

#20022923
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20725) - you deserved it (3685)

On 08/15/2012 at 5:14pm - misc - by ShowerStar (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

#20017341
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (1820)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41581) - you deserved it (4781)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

#19957944
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31317) - you deserved it (2503)

On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

#19938552
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36673) - you deserved it (4409)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9971) - you deserved it (71292)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50202) - you deserved it (7801)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72397) - you deserved it (5877)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML

#13836684
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33096) - you deserved it (7374)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:31am - misc - by teach (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17919) - you deserved it (56674)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11862) - you deserved it (48233)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: