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Mobility
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Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29510) - you deserved it (3693)
On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13776) - you deserved it (1269)
On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25712) - you deserved it (2426)
On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States
Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16205) - you deserved it (853)
On 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm - work - by kaitlyna15 - United States (Washington)
Today, I saw my best friend, who's a cop. He was dressed up in regular clothes and with six other guys. I said, "Officer T.? Didn't you have work today?" Turns out he was undercover, and I blew his investigation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14036) - you deserved it (29668)
On 07/01/2012 at 4:45am - misc - by immabitch - United States
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (6167)
On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)
Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18879) - you deserved it (1868)
On 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm - kids - by liquid_sasquatch - United States
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30276) - you deserved it (8665)
On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while I was eating lunch at work, I practically had a panic attack because I'd forgotten to feed my Neopet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6955) - you deserved it (22298)
On 02/26/2012 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was so busy checking my phone for live bus arrival times I didn't notice the bus pull up, let the people beside me on and drive away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5232) - you deserved it (31819)
Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24789) - you deserved it (3509)
On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States
I agree, your life sucks (18926) - you deserved it (2086)
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23383) - you deserved it (2445)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32007) - you deserved it (2491)
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (4080)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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