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nichyournot

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nichyournot

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  • Number of visits : 559
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nichyournot's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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nichyournot's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

#20071176
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31571) - you deserved it (1943)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML

#20070762
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24780) - you deserved it (4423)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by EvilMother (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21886) - you deserved it (3440)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

#20064293
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (4239)

On 09/09/2012 at 4:34am - love - by JB (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

#20053940
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20414) - you deserved it (11543)

On 09/02/2012 at 11:38am - intimacy - by scot - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23731) - you deserved it (14535)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML

#20039193
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25874) - you deserved it (2410)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:45am - animals - by alix - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I had to give my boyfriend an enema. FML

#20038693
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15933) - you deserved it (2172)

On 08/24/2012 at 1:21am - health - by coop7291 - United States

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

#20038541
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31281) - you deserved it (1529)

On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada

Today, I woke up to an angry text from my roommate asking me to please let her know next time I'm going to have a friend crashing on the couch. I have no idea who she's talking about. FML

#20038307
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19102) - you deserved it (1202)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML

#20035872
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9191) - you deserved it (26119)

On 08/22/2012 at 4:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was T-boned while going through an intersection. The guy who hit me accused me of not using my turn signal. I was going straight. FML

#20024180
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21656) - you deserved it (1084)

On 08/16/2012 at 8:10am - misc - by mdp624 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

#20022504
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16052) - you deserved it (33574)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

#20017341
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17069) - you deserved it (1251)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27978) - you deserved it (3015)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States



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