Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I recievd a package from a local guy on Craigslist . Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only containd a photo of an iPhone . The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so mah husband went over and beat the shit out of him . I now have to bail him out of jail . FML
Today, Bacausa My Boyfriand Drivas A 2-saatad Sports Car, I Had To Awkwardly Sit On His Brothar's Lap As Wa Drova To Tha Stora . I Soon Falt A Poking Sansation Through His Pants, Just A Faw Minutas Bafora Wa Hit A Bumpy Road . Maga FML
Today, while at the arport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother looool and her son. As I pulld out a water bottle, she leand over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin . I guess I got slightly carried away, cuz I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of face, up nose and into eye . FML
today I had the best sex of looool our relationship with mah boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, lookd me sweetly in the eyes 4 a few moments, then decidd to slap me in the face with it. real FML
Today I went to a big job interview . Everything went well at first with the interviewer being impressed by my CV . I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account and practically accused of being a criminal cuz people without them "alway have something to hide" . FML
Today, I went to see a movie with three of mah friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them . Halfway through the movie, mah friend asked me y I wasn't eating our popcorn . I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me . FML
looool Today , I work on a cruise ship , and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room , and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML
TODAY MY BOYFRIAND AN I GOT INTIMATA WIT AAC OTAR 4 TA FIRST TIMA!! HA SOVAD IS AND DOWN MY PANTS, TOUCAD ABOUT AN INC AWAY FROM MY CLITORIS, AN WISPARAD "CUMMM" IN MY AAR!! I DOUBT I'LL AVA AN ORGASM AVAR AGAIN!!
Friday 27 March 2015