nichyournot

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nichyournot

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1552
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nichyournot's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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nichyournot's favorite FMLs

Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2013 at 11:50am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love

Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

by Claire / 01/19/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

by tingles / 01/19/2013 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Intimacy

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 5:43am / United States / Work

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

by Sydney / 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

by What a happy day / 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

by Abendigo77 / 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2013 at 12:27am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my dad, thinking it was an advertisement, threw away a letter from the college I applied to. FML

by gdog10122 / 01/12/2013 at 4:52am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, during an hour-long drive, my sister told me she's lost her "faith in humanity", because one of her friends bought his 8-year-old son an iPad. She uses this stupid expression all the time, and I got so pissed off that I forgot to brake at a red light, rear-ending the car in front of us. FML

by lostmyfaithinblowjobs / 01/11/2013 at 9:16pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

by anonymous001 / 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

by troll of a gran / 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

by no sleep for me / 01/08/2013 at 2:44am / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML

by maddiecat / 01/08/2013 at 12:34am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous