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nicacherrycola's FML badges
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nicacherrycola's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2009 at 10:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML
by Victim / 06/27/2009 at 9:47am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
by embarrassed4life / 06/25/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I got into a heated argument at a restaurant with a guy I am seeing because he refused to let me pay for the bill and I thought it was sexist. When he finally agreed, I gave the waiter my card, only to have him return a minute later telling me it was declined. FML
by feminist / 06/17/2009 at 11:25am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Money
Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML
by Anonymous / 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML
by snitchovich / 05/27/2009 at 12:46pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by beatricesank / 05/23/2009 at 10:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by honeymoondisaster / 05/23/2009 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I worked up the courage to comment on my crush's picture. I wrote "Cool picture" on his facebook profile picture. Pleased with myself, I later logged on to see if he had replied. He had. Well, at least he took the time to reply- "Who the fuck are you?". FML
by Invisible / 05/22/2009 at 3:27pm / Switzerland (Basel-Stadt) / Love
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Heifer / 05/16/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, in my art class we had to paint a nude portrait of a fat, old woman. About halfway through the piece, and while painting her fat rolls, I realized she was the only person other than myself I had ever seen naked. FML
by artclasstrauma / 05/15/2009 at 11:14am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML
by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous