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nicacherrycola's favorite FMLs
by syl / 02/11/2010 at 1:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by engagedmaybe / 02/02/2010 at 1:20am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, my best friend planned a birthday party for me at the local Mexican restaurant. NO ONE showed up. We told the Mexican waiter there would be 18 arriving. Two hours later he brought me free ice cream. Even the non-english speaking waiters knew I was a loser. FML
by Candace / 01/26/2010 at 10:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML
by Blah / 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML
by iluvjenknee / 01/22/2010 at 1:26am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/22/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Nevada) / Love
Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML
by showerpower / 01/20/2010 at 7:23pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
Today, I noticed there was a red truck following me. I walked as fast as I could. I then ran. It followed. I slipped on some ice and fell. I was unable to get up. It stopped beside me and the driver got out. I then said hello to my husband's new car. FML
by meee / 01/12/2010 at 7:55pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by JK2010 / 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm / Israel (Hefa) / Love
by krisx3ftw / 01/11/2010 at 8:25am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML
by Anonymous / 01/06/2010 at 7:29pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Nevada) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
by pottypattypeepants / 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML
by creeped / 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I found out where all my expensive bras and panties have been disappearing to. Apparently, while I'm at work, my fifteen year-old son's girlfriend has been stealing them after they have sex in my bed. FML
by Secretisout / 12/21/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today I went as a chaperone on one of my son's middle school field trips to the beach with the rest… Today, I've realized why my parents waited eight years later for my youngest little brother. They… Today, is my first day of recovery in a full right arm cast. Broke it on the last possible free day…