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nicacherrycola's favorite FMLs
Today, my new roommate moved in. It seems that instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, she instead opts to use the nearest towel in reach. I found this out when I went to dry off with mine after a shower. FML
by poop towel / 09/15/2011 at 3:43pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by foreseeingabreakup / 09/06/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML
by only1bigdogme / 09/03/2011 at 1:24am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML
by bobin / 08/29/2011 at 1:17pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to a concert. The music was great, but the drunk guys behind me made it hard to pay attention. Half way through the second act, one of them took it upon themselves to start peeing on me. FML
by concertqueen / 08/27/2011 at 6:40pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
by Puppy Loverr / 08/25/2011 at 3:12am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML
by RohnAbheek / 08/21/2011 at 1:36pm / India (Maharashtra) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 12:41am / United States (New York) / Love
by noway / 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm / Singapore / Intimacy
by aliixmaee / 08/09/2011 at 10:50am / United States / Love
by Eddie / 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
by moonstone15 / 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML
by Creeped_out_n_stuck / 08/05/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, My dad decided after months of working out he should include me. He did this by forcing me… Today, I found out that a very close friend of mine masturbates to photos of me on my Instagram and… Today, I was playing video games when my balls felt itchy. I had been sick for the past few days so…