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nicacherrycola's FML badges
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nicacherrycola's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
by manhandled / 02/01/2012 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
by Shelly P. / 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by Alejandroc / 01/19/2012 at 8:46pm / Honduras (Cortes) / Love
Today, in preparation for proposing to my girlfriend, I borrowed one of her rings, so I could discreetly get her ring size. Not only have I now lost the ring, which turns out to be a keepsake of her dead grandmother, I still don't know her ring size. FML
by machismo / 01/13/2012 at 1:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
by fuckparents / 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by catlady / 01/09/2012 at 11:56am / United Kingdom (Bexley) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/05/2012 at 11:58am / United Kingdom (London) / Love
by Angela / 01/04/2012 at 2:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Paige / 12/26/2011 at 1:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML
by agony / 12/16/2011 at 10:29pm / United States (New York) / Love
by 50love / 12/13/2011 at 12:38am / United States / Love
Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by jessi / 12/02/2011 at 8:22am / United States / Kids
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML
by nirvana_mama157 / 11/28/2011 at 7:51am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to…