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nicacherrycola's FML badges
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nicacherrycola's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2013 at 3:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by nopanties / 03/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by smokeysarah94 / 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Ihatemylife / 03/03/2013 at 7:17am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML
by notapervert / 02/28/2013 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Love
by anony / 02/27/2013 at 8:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by pooh anne / 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by pissed girlfriend / 02/24/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML
by stillfuckingcrying / 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm / Sweden (Kalmar Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
by mypelvishurts / 02/23/2013 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…