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nicacherrycola's FML badges
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nicacherrycola's favorite FMLs
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML
by the girl next door / 05/07/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML
by seekerglow176 / 04/27/2013 at 8:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by emma_waters23 / 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Soundofaboner / 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm / United States / Intimacy
by JRLJLS / 04/15/2013 at 5:09am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
by maturity / 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy
by married an old man / 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 12:25am / Miscellaneous
by Thankshun / 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…