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nic5x

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nic5x
  • Town/Country : Grant, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 5 December 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 255
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nic5x's favorite FMLs

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17853) - you deserved it (41736)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

#21095295
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38915) - you deserved it (7433)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28789) - you deserved it (15260)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

#21092916
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39025) - you deserved it (7022)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:42pm - misc - by BMTH2296 (man) - United States

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41896) - you deserved it (3695)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37478) - you deserved it (9926)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50236) - you deserved it (12047)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38321) - you deserved it (8501)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

#21074219
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37023) - you deserved it (16397)

On 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

#21069920
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33477) - you deserved it (2858)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43471) - you deserved it (7325)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

#21067583
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39980) - you deserved it (3898)

On 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47005) - you deserved it (3523)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my dad singing along to a song on Sesame Street. He tried to divert attention from what I'd just witnessed by angrily grilling me over "just barging in" and not respecting people's privacy. Apparently he forgot that we were in the living room. FML

#21062479
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34356) - you deserved it (3062)

On 02/16/2014 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry... The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML

#21058908
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21079) - you deserved it (46383)

On 02/13/2014 at 7:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) -



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