Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nic5x

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

nic5x

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 5 December 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 915
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

nic5x's page activity

Visits<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:44pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 6:21pm<b>lizard365</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:32am<b>mwhahahahahaha</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:00am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 8:18am<b>ironfey</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 10:22am<b>nigtwit</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 1:20am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 1:46pm<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 9:19am<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 7:19pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 10:09pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 1:31pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 10:58am<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 10:08pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 10:44am

nic5x's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of nic5x's badges

nic5x's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35962) - you deserved it (8361)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48132) - you deserved it (9473)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21578) - you deserved it (36966)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38033) - you deserved it (23383)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

#21230823
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39562) - you deserved it (3238)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:21am - kids - by We raised that fool (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

#21230047
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24439) - you deserved it (51213)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, I went to fill out my time sheet. Someone had edited it, and now it suddenly ends August 22nd. I think I'm getting fired. FML

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54757) - you deserved it (10885)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46503) - you deserved it (8148)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: