Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

niamah

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

niamah

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 26 June 1984 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7078
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

niamah's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of niamah's badges

niamah's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41683) - you deserved it (7211)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42634) - you deserved it (5092)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my mom told my girlfriend an embarrassing story about me, along the lines of whenever my parents would take me school clothes shopping, I'd cry because I hated all the choices they gave me. The most recent incident of this? Last year. I'm 18. FML

#18146377
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14263) - you deserved it (29822)

On 11/03/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by Czechplease - United States

Today, I have my first university lecture on lab safety. Having gone out the night before with my house-mates, I have the worst hangover of my life, and have to listen for an hour and a half while they loudly demonstrate the types of alarms we'll hear in different kinds of emergencies. FML

#18138100
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12339) - you deserved it (47056)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by ...loud noises...urgh... (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29560) - you deserved it (3441)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17035) - you deserved it (46324) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18072) - you deserved it (32469)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML

#18035123
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40293) - you deserved it (10663)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by skinny dipper - United States (Washington)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30765) - you deserved it (5205) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45182) - you deserved it (5066)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I got a speeding ticket while taking my drivers license test. FML

Today, I pulled into the gas station to fill up only to realize I had forgot my wallet. By the time I went home, got it, and came back, the price had gone up eleven cents. FML

#17969396
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34163) - you deserved it (4349)

On 10/12/2011 at 6:47pm - money - by WhoopteeDooDoo (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24960) - you deserved it (3762)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML

#17950170
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29068) - you deserved it (2619)

On 10/10/2011 at 4:29am - health - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17551) - you deserved it (25430)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: