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newburton13

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newburton13

1Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 13456
  • Number of comments : 753
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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Visits<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:25pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:51pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:52pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:35pm<b>EimP</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:12pm<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:51am<b>ArmenMM</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 12:43pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 6:29am<b>PierceTheSabrina</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Hildy93</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:41am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:58pm<b>hi_mynaneisslec</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 3:12am<b>Rizzen</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 9:08pm<b>Fatwahhh</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 6:10pm<b>sammyjo06</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:27am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 1:40pm<b>ImposterDitto</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 5:03pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 6:20am

Fucked!<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:26pm

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML

#399721
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55852) - you deserved it (30297)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by kaichennnxx (man) - United States (California)

Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML

#386198
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39717) - you deserved it (86299)

On 03/16/2009 at 5:01pm - misc - by badgrandchild - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

#319539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18435) - you deserved it (192992)

On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20180) - you deserved it (190981)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada

Today, I was woken up by the sound of power tools at 6:30am. I stuck my head out my window and yelled at them to shut up. They didn't stop. I walked out the front door to find the bastard. It was firemen. They were sawing down the door of my neighbour's burning house. FML

Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my Father over top of me saying "nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burgler and he knocked me out. FML

#268069
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52473) - you deserved it (8544)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

#262388
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85405) - you deserved it (6678)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by rebecca (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

#253900
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82626) - you deserved it (8125)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by missy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was with my family at a buffet getting dessert. As I had my chocolate cake in hand, I grabbed an extra slice of cheesecake for my mom because I knew she would like a slice. Upon returning to my table, a couple walking behind me commented, "See, that's why Americans are so obese." FML

#249952
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49031) - you deserved it (8630)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by McChunky =( - United States (California)

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

#233372
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64792) - you deserved it (16298)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by astroloser (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I finally told my best friend whom I've secretly been in love with for two years that I was in love with her but at the last second chickened out and said I was joking. She replied with "Don't scare me like that. I thought I was going to have to find a new best friend for a second" FML

#230798
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65496) - you deserved it (6634)

On 03/06/2009 at 11:17pm - love - by crap (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML

#227802
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21158) - you deserved it (49142)

On 03/06/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by jacks_smirking_revenge (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was meeting my sister's fiancé. I went to an internet cafe before I went to her house for dinner with them. I was on a computer and there was this really attractive man next to me. I was flirting with him and we exchanged numbers. Turns out, he is my sister's fiancé. FML

#220247
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67964) - you deserved it (6802)

On 03/05/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by f*** (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a co-worker superior to me called me "Stephanie" yet again. My name is Ashley. I politely informed her that my name is Ashley and subtely pointed to my work ID. Later, I get called into my supervisor's office. I got written up for correcting someone of higher status that I. FML

#219945
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59727) - you deserved it (3058)

On 03/05/2009 at 7:15pm - work - by yankeebelle (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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