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newburton13

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newburton13

1Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 13461
  • Number of comments : 753
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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Fucked!<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:26pm

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to babysit. I was told the parents would be gone when I arrived. I went and started playing with the kids. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand to find them having sex. I got paid so adults could get laid. While I was there. 6 ft. away. FML

#1043962
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58371) - you deserved it (3164)

On 04/17/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML

#1035901
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80529) - you deserved it (6381)

On 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by Kelavmeister (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my family and I ran into an older man my parents knew. He continually asked me questions like do you play football, have you started shaving yet, etc. I thought he was joking. He told my parents I had grown into quite a young man. I am a girl and he wasn't joking. FML

#1019315
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71318) - you deserved it (4444)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by yellow_sunflowers101 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML

#1010714
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (144380)

On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by katem (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

#992222
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (129027) - you deserved it (7569)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML

Today, my aunt informed me that she thinks I'm faking the debilitating disease I've had for the past 13 years. Apparently she thinks I just don't want to go to college or get a job, and that I like living on disability. She also added that my entire extended family agrees with her. FML

#983343
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73563) - you deserved it (5539)

On 04/15/2009 at 1:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom asked if she could use my red dress for her two-week trip to the Caribbean. I said no, because I was going to a party and I wanted to wear it. She called me a selfish, greedy bitch who would stay single forever. I paid for her plane ticket, her hotel fees and her cruise ship fee. FML

#976819
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (187817) - you deserved it (13709)

On 04/14/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I made an appointment with a therapist because lately I've been feeling alone and like no one cares about me. I waited at her office for about forty minutes before the receptionist informed me that she must have forgotten about the appointment. I was stood up by even my therapist. FML

#971564
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86807) - you deserved it (5631)

On 04/14/2009 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

#966967
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70988) - you deserved it (25442)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool. When I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML

#937193
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49335) - you deserved it (19026)

On 04/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by imbx (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

#927361
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98285) - you deserved it (4685)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by spiderhater (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was going on a plane to Chicago. My passport picture is 6 years old, and back then I was a beautiful model. Now, I gave birth to a child and gained 50 lbs. When I showed my passport to the airport atendents, I got arrested for stealing someones passport. FML

Today, I was going on a plane to Chicago. My passport picture is 6 years old, and back then I was a beautiful model. Now, I gave birth to a child and gained 50 lbs. When I showed my passport to the airport atendents, I got arrested for stealing someones passport. FML



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