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newburton13

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newburton13

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  • Number of visits : 8283
  • Number of comments : 748
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was following my dad while texting, not really watching where we're going. Suddenly, he ran ahead and I looked up to see what he was doing. We were in the men's bathroom. There were 3 guys at the urinals. I'm a 15 year old girl. FML

Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML

#5019794
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62594) - you deserved it (12534)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML

#5017787
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46627) - you deserved it (3636)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:27am - work - by Pop_Pies (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML

#5017525
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42235) - you deserved it (3239)

On 09/03/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was turned down from my dream job at a graphic design firm. Before the interview, concerned about my hobo style would not impress the company, I shaved, cut my long hair, and even bought a suit. They said I wasn't "free-spirited and creative enough." FML

#4996993
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42437) - you deserved it (5964)

On 09/02/2009 at 11:12am - work - by hoboman (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

#4974670
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6774) - you deserved it (61928)

On 09/01/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came back from a two week vacation. As I walked in the door, my boyfriend greeted me with a "Hey, honey! Could you clean the crockpot?" It still had the chicken in it from my going away dinner. FML

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3AM. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

#4889725
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36079) - you deserved it (11970)

On 08/28/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by chasingcars0624 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

#4867119
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77591) - you deserved it (3386)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to get food, I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and it was getting hard to breathe. I realized it's a bluebery muffin, I'm deathly allergic. I look to my friend, she was laughing saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML

#4850568
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65261) - you deserved it (5263)

On 08/27/2009 at 12:07am - health - by Hellohaileyexoh (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML

#4845223
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62245) - you deserved it (3125)

On 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by AreYouSerious (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered a bunch of emails from my old account that weren't forwarded to my new one. Because of this, I missed a job offer and all the emails from my long distance boyfriend asking if he could visit. I still don't have a job and I broke up with him because he "failed to communicate." FML

#4829137
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16915) - you deserved it (45151)

On 08/26/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by technologyfail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML

#4810321
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38846) - you deserved it (20272)

On 08/25/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I made a very pretty sunflower cake that I woke up incredibly early to make. It took me hours and a lot of money. It was for my grandparents anniversary and my whole family was invited. We only got to see the remains because the waiter gave it to the wrong family, and they ate it. FML

#4764898
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41209) - you deserved it (1884)

On 08/23/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by sunflowercake (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML

#4661982
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60157) - you deserved it (4161)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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