newburton13

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Offline (the 05/03/2016 at 1:20am)

newburton13

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18479
  • Number of comments : 770
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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newburton13's page activity

Visits<b>itsalanis</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 12:00pm<b>ChaoticGamer</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 11:07pm<b>Myorafield</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:43pm<b>mastorgaming</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 12:34am<b>lex1459</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 4:59am<b>loserface210</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 9:49pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:53pm<b>andres1419</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 12:10am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 9:32pm<b>carlfirebolt</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:21pm<b>alexisaurus</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 2:36pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:13pm<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:25pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:51pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:52pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:35pm<b>EimP</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 8:12pm<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:51am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:13am<b>madison123xx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:26pm

newburton13's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why I had been waking up feeling like crap for the past week. I found tufts of cat fur in my pillow case, and I am allergic to cats. My little brother thought I would get so sick, and he could have my XBox. FML

by fuzzy1895 / 09/11/2010 at 1:31am / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, I woke up very excited because I was going on my first date with this guy I really liked. I dressed very nicely and went to where we were supposed to meet. I waited for about 2 hours. I called him to ask him where he was. He got angry because he was still sleeping and I woke him up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2010 at 12:47am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

by Nothingonyou / 09/08/2010 at 3:35am / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I'm a dad. My ex from 8 years ago contacted me through facebook. I'm happy I have a kid, but apparently she only contacted me because she wants me to start paying child support, now her boyfriend who provided for them left. FML

by newdad / 09/06/2010 at 7:21pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, after a few months of my neighbors friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

by Myself / 09/06/2010 at 6:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML

by soldierboy / 08/29/2010 at 8:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my parents threw out the beautiful birthday cake my aunt made me, and served celery sticks at my party because I need to "watch my weight." FML

by jace17 / 08/24/2010 at 4:34am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

by ananomus / 08/22/2010 at 12:26am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

by incestastic / 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 24 year old girlfriend plugged her ears and stomped her feet while making really loud noises in our local video store. She then refused to stop until I agreed to rent and watch The Notebook with her. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2010 at 12:34pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML

by Tired / 08/05/2010 at 2:38pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML

by LaRae17 / 08/04/2010 at 10:40am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous